Do i look into doing an IOP program when i leave college and move back home, or do i just try and work with a new therapist and see how that goes? i’m graduating in 3 weeks and will move back home and no longer have my therapist or nutritionist anymore (since they are at school) i’m really nervous because my nutritionist is one of my favorite people and has been the biggest help ever and i really don’t know how i’m going to do this without her. She mentioned maybe IOP or individual therapy, but we didn’t discuss much more then that. 

How do you determine if you need more help then just once a week therapy?

And so beings the sheer panic that always consumes me prior to meeting with my nutritionist

The struggle is REAL with this meal plan

i get to the end of the day and add up exchanges and i’m so short on it and i cannot fathom adding more to my day….which i guess lies my problem aka eating disorder

dumb dumb dumb



if I offered you $20, would you take it?

How about if I crumpled it up?

Stepped on it?

you would probably take it even though it was crumpled and stepped on it. Do you know why?

Because it is still $20, and its worth has not changed.

The same goes for you; if you have a bad day, or if something bad happens to you, you are not worthless.

if someone crumples you up or steps on you, your worth does not change. You are still just as valuable as you were before.


Reblogged from I WANT THIS

O my gosh i’m having a horrible body image day and i want to cry and crawl out of my skin.

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Why am i already panicking so bad about this meal plan? i have been getting so worked up about it all day and its making me freak out so bad. I feel like this is a meal plan thats going to make me huge and i’m scared to trust it


Before you judge someone with an eating disorder, just take a moment to consider how sad, scary and lonely life is when all that matters is what you ate today…

My nutritionist wants me to try and go back to following the meal plan i was on last time i was in treatment. Its a weight gain meal plan, so that stresses me out a TON, but she is hoping if i can just try and stick to that, it’ll take out some of the overthinking i’ve been doing and i can get back on a good eating pattern. She started to mention the possibility of treatment this summer, but hasn’t said she thinks its 100% necessary yet. She just said that if i went for an assessment, they would def recommend PHP or IOP. I’m really nervous to go back to following a meal plan because it seems like so much food and i’m not comfortable with it at all. Im going to try though because i cannot keep living like this. Hopefully it doesn’t feel super overwhelming and i can handle it well

✿ ✿

  • Daisy: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
  • Carnation: If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?
  • Jasmine: What color looks best on you?
  • foxglove: Name three facts about your family?
  • Allium: What's the best thing you can cook?
  • Orange Blossom: If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?
  • Calla Lily: If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?
  • Poinsettia: Favorite holiday dish?
  • Oxlip: Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?
  • Primrose: Favorite kind of soup?
  • Daffodil: What's the most thoughtful present you've ever received?
  • Rose: Are you currently in love with someone?
  • Amsonia: Would you ever become a vegan?
  • Peony: What's your favorite hot beverage?
  • Tulip: For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?
  • Myrtle: Do you like going on airplanes?
  • Hibiscus: Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?
  • Zinnia: Who was your best friend when you were six years old?
  • Poppy: What color was your childhood home?
  • Hydrangea: Starbucks order?
  • Violet: Do you like where you're from?
  • Locust: What was your favorite book as a child?
  • Rhododendron: What's the scariest dream you've ever had?
  • Queen Anne's Lace: Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?
  • Magnolia: Favorite kind of candy?
  • Aster: Would you rather be cold or hot?
  • Marigold: Do you listen to what's on the radio?
  • Heliconia: Do you like when it rains?
  • Azalea: What's a movie you cried while watching?
  • Dandelion: Do you think you're important?
Reblogged from She's Been Set Free
You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
— Virginia Woolf (via chronic—hope)
Reblogged from Beauty in Suffering

Has anyone ever been to an Eating Disorder Anonymous meeting? can you tell me what its like/if you would recommend going to one? I found one not far from met but i’m nervous about it. I am just desperately in need of more support and i don’t know what to do


Note to self: playing with BMI calculators is not a good use of your time and will make you want to beat your head against the wall to knock the information out of your head permanently (which will not in fact work).

Reblogged from I am set free.

The amount of panic I feel right now is ridiculous. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. It makes me feel hopeless

Ugh too much feel

i fucking hate how nervous people make me like i can’t even walk down the road without feeling judged and that is just ridiculous 

Reblogged from I WANT THIS