Dance Through Life
Hi! i'm Chrissy. Recovering from anorexia. Trying to fight through each day and actually win. I love to dance and run and i am very passionate about medicine and helping people. Ask questions if you want!
  • My scale at home says i weigh 4 pounds more then my nutritionists scale sad 4 days ago. 4. pounds. And i am FREAKING out soooo badly right now.I want to cry. I can’t stand this anymore. I don’t know why i bother stepping on that scale ever because i KNOW it never makes me feel good dn i KNOW it never makes me happy. But i’m freaking out and i don’t know if I can trust my nutritionists scale because of the huge difference. I don’t know what to think. Any advice? i could really use some help. I’m freaking out SO badly.

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  • "Gaining weight won’t make you miserable.
    Fear of gaining weight, however, will."
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  • lauralittlex:

    i’m not one of those people who are like 'i wouldn't change having an eating disorder. if i had the chance to go back i wouldn't because it's shaped me as a person'. If I could go back or change the fact I developed an eating disorder, I would in a heartbeat. It’s ruined my life and it’s shaped me into a horrible person. I would give up everything to go back to before my eating disorder developed, wave a magic wand and continue my life as amazing as it was.

    (via rebeccatryingtorecover)

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  • (Source: thvnders, via keep-your-headabove)

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  • resisting super strong exercise urges right now. Ask questions if you wanna help distract me? I’d appreciate it! I’m really trying today to do what i need to do and get back on track. i’ve had a pretty bad past few days and i need to get my shit together. Its my last night of my program and i’m freaking out because i know i’m not doing nearly as well as i should be. I have a whole team set up so i should feel a little better about that. I have a nutrition appointment and then a primary care dr appointment tomorrow, so hopefully that helps me get back on track. I’m going to be completely honest with my new treatment team and tell them how i’m really doing and how awful and loud my eating disorder thoughts have been lately. fingers crossed! Hope you all have a great day!

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  • tw- scale

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  • freaking out so bad. (tw-weight and the stupid stupid scale)

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  • g-raceinyourheart:

    blackcoffee-and-cigarettes:

    I could reblog this everytime I see it on my dashboard because it’s exactly how I feel…

    yeah man

    (Source: snowflaxe, via miss--freedom)

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  • Had a giant meltdown after work yesterday on my way to treatment. ended up driving around forever and then calling my program and saying i couldn’t make it. I skipped it last night. I was way too panicked and overwhelmed. I feel really bad for not going. It was a challenge dinner night, so i feel like there was probably part of me avoiding that too. I was also just so exhausted from working all day and being on my feet. I ended up coming home, having dinner (Pizza! Scary!) and sitting around. I started feeling like shit so i went on a run. This morning i’m up super early again for work and i am struggling with what to bring for lunch. I feel giant and huge and like i’ve gained a ton of weight. I know i’m still in the weight gaining process, but i’m having such a hard time accepting it. I think i ended up fighting my eating disordered thoughts and packing a pretty decent lunch. I can’t wait to have tomorrow off and do nothing all day. Work is tiring. 

  • up at 630 to get ready for work. I packed what i think is a really balanced and good lunch. i meet a good amount of my exchanges and i think it’ll taste good too! on monday i met with my nutritionist at my program and she wasn’t happy with my weight so she increased my meal plan yet again. I have to do ensure+ with my meals while i’m at program and add an extra 3 exchanges outside of program. UGH i’m freaking out because i am having a hard time hitting the old meal plan and i have NO idea how i’ll reach100% of this one now. The ensure is so scary for me. This past monday i almost started bawling during dinner when i had to drink it, and i’m already starting to panic about having to drink it tonight. Its such a fear for me. I’m realllllly scared to gain weight. The only emotion i can put to describe it is panic. today is going to be a long day. work for 8 hours and then i have to rush to program. Here goes nothing! Hope you all have a great day!

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  • first day of work today! I have also avoided the scale all morning! I’ve been awake for 2 hours already but i haven’t stepped foot in the other bathroom with the scale. I REALLY want to know that number, but its only going to mess me up, and i can’t have anything distracting me from my first day of work. That number is just a number. I need to not let it control me. I am trying to have a legit breakfast because i’ll be running around and on my feet all day at work, but i’m still too scared to. I’m trying. baby steps. I have avoided the scale today. I let myself stay in bed a little longer instead of dragging myself up even earlier to go on a run. I am trying. I am fighting. I am scared, but i haven’t given up

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  • ask ask ask!!

    • 0: Height
    • 1: Virgin?
    • 2: Shoe size
    • 3: Do you smoke?
    • 4: Do you drink?
    • 5: Do you take drugs?
    • 6: Age you get mistaken for
    • 7: Have tattoos?
    • 8: Want any tattoos?
    • 9: Got any piercings?
    • 10: Want any piercings?
    • 11: Best friend?
    • 12: Relationship status
    • 13: Biggest turn ons
    • 14: Biggest turn offs
    • 15: Favorite movie
    • 16: I’ll love you if
    • 17: Someone you miss
    • 18: Most traumatic experience
    • 19: A fact about your personality
    • 20: What I hate most about myself
    • 21: What I love most about myself
    • 22: What I want to be when I get older
    • 23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
    • 24: My relationship with my parent(s)
    • 25: My idea of a perfect date
    • 26: My biggest pet peeves
    • 27: A description of the girl/boy I like
    • 28: A description of the person I dislike the most
    • 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
    • 30: What I hate the most about work/school
    • 31: What your last text message says
    • 32: What words upset me the most
    • 33: What words make me feel the best about myself
    • 34: What I find attractive in women
    • 35: What I find attractive in men
    • 36: Where I would like to live
    • 37: One of my insecurities
    • 38: My childhood career choice
    • 39: My favorite ice cream flavor
    • 40: Who wish I could be
    • 41: Where I want to be right now
    • 42: The last thing I ate
    • 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
    • 44: A random fact about anything
    • 45. Selfie
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  • I don’t really have much of an update. I keep going back and forth between sticking to my meal plan and freaking out and not being able to follow it. I have been doing a better job avoiding the scale but haven’t 100% stayed away from it. I panic about that number. I know i still need to gain weight, but damn i wish it wasn’t so scary! i have work and then treatment tomorrow. going to be SUCH a long day. hope you all had a great weekend

  • Send me a cup of coffee.

    • Espresso: Describe your usual morning routine.
    • Decaf: Impersonate one of your friends.
    • Macchiato: Name two things you think go well together and why.
    • Latte: List three aspects of your personality that you love.
    • Flat White: Confess the most recent crime you committed.
    • Iced: Make the weirdest face you can.
    • Cappuccino: Describe your ideal wedding.
    • Drip: Post a photo of a stuffed animal you own.
    • Mocha: Name one of your guilty pleasures.
    • Doppio: List two of your dream travel locations and why.
    • Black: Recall the worst insult you've ever received.
    • Americano: Post a photo of your favorite outfit.
    • Kopi: Describe an incident when you tried something new.
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