Dance Through Life
Hi! i'm Chrissy. Recovering from anorexia. Trying to fight through each day and actually win. I love to dance and run and i am very passionate about medicine and helping people. Ask questions if you want!
  • Full and uncomfortable after lunch but so far for today I’ve eaten 100%

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  • So for the last 2 days i have really been committing to following my meal plan 100%. My nutritionist and i talked and we came up with a deal. I will follow it 100% for the next week, not weight myself, and just trust her. And next week, we will revisit it and see how it was and how i’m doing. I am really trying to trust that its not going to make me gain 5 pounds in 5 days. I’m trying to believe that this is a necessary amount of food and the weight gain is very necessary. So for the last 2 days, i’ve hit 100% of my meal plan! I went out to dinner last night and had a normal meal. I just ate a normal breakfast and have been trying to not panic about it all. I am really trying hard to do this and do it well. I’m kind of nervous because i really don’t trust it and i’m afraid i’ll be gaining a ton by next week, but i’m going to cross that bridge next week i guess.

    Happy friday everyone! Hope your days are great!

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  • A friend of mine is in the hospital for an eating disorder and i want to send her a care package. She’s not doing too well and could really use a pick me up. If you were in the hospital and unable to have your phone or computer, what would you like? I’m looking for ideas of things to send her! i think i’m going to send yarn and knitting needles and a puzzle book but i’m looking for other things.


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  • Just ate an unmeasured amt of trail mix. I ate until I was full. I am FREAKING out so bad right now. I don’t trust myself and I’m so scared I ate oo much and I am beating myself up a lot over this. I don’t know if I over ate or not. I have such a hard time trusting my hunger and fullness and I’m so scared right now. Ahhh!
    However I’m also kind of proud I was able to eat until I felt full and didn’t measure anything.
    I’m very conflicted right now

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  • I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m stuck between recovery and relapse and it’s scary and frustrating and not a fun place. I want to be better but I’m so scared. I hate the way my mind works

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  • I’m actually looking forward to therapy this afternoon. I have a lot I need help with an I’m really struggling

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  • recoveryisbeautiful:

    SO you’re finally at that point in recovery when you’re allowed to exercise again! Yayy!! Congrats! Now, how do you make sure it doesn’t get out of control again?

    There’s a bunch of stuff that I’ve learned from my own experience that is really helpful with handling this kind of situation.

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  • I went out to dinner last night. It was SO good, but i was distracted. I’m so sick of living like this. i had a good phone session with my nutritionist yesterday, and it should help me get my ass in gear and fix what i need to fix, but i’m so stressed about my weight. I hate the stupid scale, i don’t even know if i can trust it (it gives a different number if i move it and its a few pounds off of what my nutritionists scale says) but i’m so afraid to completely avoid it. I’m going to try and go the next few days without stepping on it, so fingers crossed! I want to have a good day. I want to get better and not care about my weight and what i look like. I wish i could see myself right. I see myself as so big, and logically i know that i can’t be. I hate this circus mirror image i have of myself. 

    blah sorry for the negativity. Hope you all have a good day! Message me if you need support or help. I am here for you! Helping other people also helps me, so never hesitate to ask for my help!

  • "They yell at me because I can’t see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Nobody can make it stop"
    Wintergirls Laurie Halse Anderson (via xmissmeowx)

    (via thoughtsofrebecca)

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  • Fighting urges to use symptoms. Send questions? I’m having a very hard time

  • last day of work and then i get 3 days down the shore!! YAYAY

  • Its been a very long few days. I feel broken and defeated. I am tired. I am sore. I want to rest. I finally have a day off on monday and i can’t wait to sleep. I’m having a phone session with my nutritionist on monday. I also found a new therapist and met her this past week. So far, i really like her. Hopefully this works out MUCH better then my last therapist. She was nice but i felt like she was talking down to me the entire time and that she felt like she was so much better then me. 

    ugh. tired. drained. Need to fight harder

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